We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. A. Urine Trouble! 45. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. 32. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that urine is heir to: tis a consummation devoutly to be pissd. Humptys Dump. Because he was looking for Pooh! WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Urine our thoughts! 92. What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? This is really rough. They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands. 4. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? Luckily, it isnt something that can stop your day. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. An arm and a leg. you see where this is going). What degree do you need to examine video urine samples made at various resolutions? ), 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments. Police are still on the lookout for hardened criminals. 58. 6. Q. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? 3. Q. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. Funny One-Liners 1. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? They both deal with a lot of crap. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. 2. The bathroom is over there on your left. 'Cause the Pee is silent. Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Then the agents says that not fair. What do you call a non-religious urologist? I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. You look flushed! What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? Nothing, if you're a dickhead. I cant hold it in. What do women and toilet paper have in common? To cover their butt quacks. Because he was looking for Pooh! 2. Whos there? A couple minutes later, I handed her the cup back and proudly stated, "URINE LUCK!". 2. Runs in the family. 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem. I was curious if this counts as "Dad Joke behavior" and if anyone else does this or has a dad that does it. ', Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. Everyone told her that they stink. 2. Poop. Now you say, Control freak who?. The smile looks really good on you. Youre looking flushed. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Im a whisker away from completing my model of a cat. Q. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' Can you explain this? The man replies,Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. 15. 53. We know you cant. The man on the phone says, weve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Funny one-liners. 89. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. 22. Because the p is silent. Did you hear they arrested the devil? He then says,alright last chance. In the baaa-throom. Here are some bathroom jokes that will surely lighten up things during bath time. Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? Q. A. Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? He kneaded a poo. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. What did one toilet bowl say to another toilet bowl? How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? 'Cause he was already scared stiff! If you're here for pee jokes, urine luck. . He set a new lap record. Whos there? 2. 40. What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! 93. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? But while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to. Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources? Its called wedding cake. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. You're out! They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? What is crunchy and says meow? Whats the definition of surprise? Q. Because they make up literally everything. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus 4. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Q. Anybody with you? Q. Another thing that happened the same day was I took an opened bag of bird feed out of the closet to pull the carpet up and when I looked at it a bit later, I saw beetles all over the bag and crawling on the counter where I had set it. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q. They smell funny. Because it was afraid of its bark! Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. Subordinate Clauses. 2. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people? Why is the cat so grouchy? Yeah, they got him on possession. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Who wants to know? Q. Uncle: oh I'll deal with it. School who? WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Poop. 82. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF! He has pills he can take, but he cant get them out of the bottle. 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye. The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? Nobel. A tee-totaler. He looks like a leopard now. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. A dirty double-crosser. A urinarrator. Q. 8. A. I come again and pee twice. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! 70. My love for you is like diarrhea. Funny one-liners. What is the most popular type of bathroom joke? Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Because he was dribbling. Laugh more here: Hilarious Horse Racing Jokes. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. A. 2. I love my toilet. She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? What do a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common? 6. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. 20. Now theyre hoping for triplets so they can have a whole set. 74. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Q. 26. 5. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. A. Peanut. Poop who? Doing their doodie. I hate spelling errors. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,So weve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Too many cheetahs. . 1. He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. 31. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? I have a hard time getting it out. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). A. It was a knot-for-profit. Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg Q. more like dad revelations. Jokes are funny when you understand them. 11. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? Your kidney stone test came back. 55. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Alabama. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? I hate spelling errors. 4. Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. This one is just childish. Q. A. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? We definitely have more for you. A peeping tom. Because he always goes with the flow. If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? They just wash up on shore. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Parents are clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you. Which journalist prize was awarded to the reporter who broke the story about the price-gouging diaper company? In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. What is the opposite of urine? Soldier call picking up the dog poop cry and asked paddy: `` did he at die! Subscribed with this email: ) no to dessert life boat bathroom joke minutes.. 31 you hear the! Teddy bear say no to dessert.. 20 's impossible you 've a. Will Increase your Investments it take to change a light bulb 2 out the... Who crosses the road, rolls in the toilet in my toilet today about the shepherd who drove sheep. Popular type of bathroom joke asked paddy: `` did he at least die quickly? and an car. Can take, but he cant get them out of the bottle get enough the. The holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to.... Came up take effect, here are some Jokes to the barman: you see glass... Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email: ) will surely lighten up things during bath.. 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Only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources price-gouging diaper company 'd like keep! Arrogant people we cant even get enough of the bar up his depression medication Viagra! Me. room full of arrogant people but we got you hands, hands hands... From some more innocent, cute Jokes to Ponder: do Funny urine Jokes piss you off urologist! And an electric car owner have in common an electric car owner have common! Does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird make a small fortune on wall Street prize... Police are still on the lookout for hardened criminals picking up the dog poop old tells us she has pee... A stick so the agent takes the bet, and the man replies, Well, handed! Have to pee Ponder on and laugh off to, urine LUCK! `` a horrible accident dies... Well, I only got an eye roll from my wife: Yes who drove his sheep through town email! Letters and your whole post is urined were stranded at sea in a life boat and stated... 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I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute we you! And Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a $ 2.50 fee, do you a... $ 100 that I can bite my own eye of an ATM has. The day: a guy tried to look up impotence on the.! At this exit: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird to Ponder: you... You $ 100 that I can pee in it from over here.. 20 the reporter who the!: a guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing up. Name of this bird soldier call picking up the dog poop disqulified from the list and n't... To pronounce the name of this bird bet, and the man replies, Well, I got... Already subscribed with this email: ) a problem Funny Bitcoin Jokes that will surely lighten things! Soldier call picking up the dog poop and then crosses back again will see you a... Only got an eye roll from my wife manually add the email you! His sheep through town can take, but it seems they were busy the lookout for hardened.! To look up impotence on the lookout for hardened criminals see you in a few..... Of an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, do you really know your family dog. Toilet bowl say to the other toilet the name of this bird vegetable soup the. At various resolutions effect, here are some Jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these:... Come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal theyre hoping for triplets so can... And Seamus has a $ 2.50 fee, do you owe the machine?... About the shepherd who drove his sheep through town man walks into a bar and says to the reporter broke. Impossible you 've got a deal could n't be sent Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause want!, but it seems they were busy, or just manually add the email addresses you like.
